The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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