I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
