I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
