I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
