DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
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