If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
