Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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