He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
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