you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I stole a fireplace last night.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
