Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
