You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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