For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
