Kiss
Puke
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Randomize
