hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
from now on my penis is your penis
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Let's get the cat blown out
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Randomize