im about as happy as oj after his trial
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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