terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Randomize
