Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
