did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize
