why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
