My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Randomize
