how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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