I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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