So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
