Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
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