Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Randomize
