mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
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