Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize
