Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Slut skills are useful in every country.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
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