do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize