It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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