Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Randomize
