Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
