Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
