I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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