I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I'm like, not good at living.
Randomize
