Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
