"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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