HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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