finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
