First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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