yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
