guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
