So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Randomize
