That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
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