Midget sex pt 2 tonight
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
