If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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