He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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