I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Randomize
