They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Sorry about my life...
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Randomize
