I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Randomize
