after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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