Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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