In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
