I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
