Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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