You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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