I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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