"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I'm like, not good at living.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
