i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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