i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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