Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
No subtext here. People are naked.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
