Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
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