That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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