Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
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