the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
